朗阁海外考试研究中心  徐鹏

前言

论雅思写作的Task2, 除去开头段和结尾段，剩下来中间的主体段落才是考官真正评分的依据，主体段的内容决定着整篇作文的质量。内容充实，例子合理，论据信服，逻辑合理的主体段落能得，反之，太任性，太空虚，太不合理的主体内容永远也得不了像样的分数。本文中，朗阁海外考试研究中心的将针对写作主体段常见的两大任性问题，给各位对作文感到头大的考生简单讲讲如何把主体段写好写正，帮助大家突破自己的作文瓶颈。

一、主体段例子太【任性】

作为题材是议论文的英语写作，举例是非常常见且必要的论证手法，但是很多学生自己写的例子往往十分【任性】，也就是举例不合理；离谱点的牛头不对马嘴，不能说明前面的理论；一般点的例子重心偏移，不能非常好地论证前面的理论。

学生作文1:

作文题目：人们大件物品决定是否会受各方面信息的影响？

学生观点：会受影响

学生段落思路：销售对产品的介绍信息，信息会影响购买

             +例子朋友KONKA电视，受销售服务态度影响，转TCL

             （典型的牛头不对马嘴，不支持上面的论证）

分论点：

Besides, I think that salesman canalso influence us when we buy what we want. As the salesman has moreinformation about the product, according to our demand, they can easily help ormislead us.

例子：

For example, last time one of myfriend went to buy a television. At first, he wanted to buy one of Konka, butthe salesman of Konka was playing mobile phone and his attitude was bad， and then my friend went to the booth of TCL, thesalesman of TCL was enthusiastic

and he asked my friend a lot of questions. At last he chose one for my friendand made my friend satisfied, so he bought it.

分析：这个例子失败之处很明显，例子要说明的是前面一句理论salesmancan influence us<-------has more information about the product according toour demand......,例子应该强调【销售信息】影响是否购买，而不是【销售的态度】。

下面是对学生作文进行的修改：

Ithink that salesman can also influence us when we buy what we want. As thesalesman has more information about the product, according to our demand, theycan easily help or mislead us. For example, last time one of my friend went tobuy a television.

(Atfirst, he wanted to buy one of Konka, but the salesman of Konka was playingmobile phone and his attitude was bad, and then my friend went to the booth ofTCL, the salesman of TCL was enthusiastic

and he asked my friend a lotof questions. At last he chose one for my friend and made my friendsatisfactionly, so he bought it.)

(At first, hewanted to buy on large 65-inch LCD television in his bedroom for watchingsports programs. However, the salesman suggested that the 65-inch was too bigfor his bedroom, and 49-inch television fitted him better in terms of size andprice. Finally, my friend changed his mind, and chose the small one.)

修改后的例子为销售建议小电视机更适合朋友卧室，朋友改变了大电视的决定，完美支持了前面的论据。

学生作文2:

作文题目：人们大件物品决定是否会受各方面信息的影响？

学生观点：会受影响

学生段落思路：购买决定会受到媒体广告影响

+例子：我去相机，广告里Sony好，去店里面，看到Samsung广告，转念Samsung

分论点：

Besides,people will be influenced by the mass media. There are many advertisements aroundus in many forms like television, posts and so on.

例子：

OnceI wanted to buy a camera and I saw an advertisement about a Sony camera on TV.It introduced about its multiple functions and colorful outlook. It was reallyattractive so I decided to buy it. I went to the retail store and I saw otheradvertisement about a Samsung camera with bright colors and some functions thatI really need. I changed my though and buy the Samsung one.

分析：例子算是部分论证了前面的分论点，但是论证不够充分，两次都提到广告，重点不明确。应该第一次心里想Sony,但是看了广告被Samsung吸引，转Samsung，这才能直截了当地突出【广告】对购买决定的影响。

下面是对学生作文的修改：

Besides,people will be influenced by the mass media. There are many advertisementsaround us in many forms like television, posts and so on.

(OnceI wanted to buy a camera and I saw an advertisement about a Sony camera on TV.It introduced about its multiple functions and colorful outlook. It was reallyattractive so I decided to buy it. I went to the retail store and I saw otheradvertisement about a Samsung camera with bright colors and some functions thatI really need. I changed my though and buy the Samsung one.)

Once I decided to buy a Sony camera,and when i went to the shopping mall, i was fascinated by an advertisementwhich highlighted the multiple functions and colorful outlook of Samsung camera.At that time, the decision of buying Sony was changed immediately.

改后例子：本想着Sony, 但受广告影响了Samsung, 更好地论证了前面的分论点。

二、主体段实词太【任性】

主体段需要论证分论点，需要写大量的论据，学生的通病就是很容易写一点大空的论据，并且这些论据很容易重复，把这些大空的论据，词写实了，写的具象化了，就不【任性】，能得了。

学生作文1:

主要讲学生做可以提升自己的能力，对自己有好处。

具体到了how to promote the quality of food

        communication skills

学生作文2:

具体到了terrible weather phenomenon called haze

总结

对于大多数同学来说，在任何写作中如果能解决这两个问题，那么分数会好很多，希望各位同学在自己写作时多多注意这两个方面，同时多加练习，一定能够取得。