生活 校园里有好闺蜜 吗

导读:BBC曾发文称，薪水、前景、尊重和信任是令员工感到幸福的因素。除了钱，真正吸引员工来到公司上班的主要因素是人际关系，而不是价值观、企业社会责任和办公室的装修。工作中结交的朋友可以成为盟友和合作伙伴，互相关心，互惠互利。没有朋友，办公室就是一个非常孤独的地方。

Indeed, most of us will be able to think of an instance where a boss has been difficult or a performance review has gone badly and a workplace friend has offered support. Similarly, friends can act as allies and partners who look out for each other and advance each other’s interests.

Office friendships have always been important to Suzanne Azzopardi, an executive producer of digital global strategy at FremantleMedia. “When you start at a company, you find people who are similar to you and understand you,” she says. “Work is often the place where you spend more time than any other and you need people you can share confidences with or lean on.”

Work friendships can also be very intense, Ms Azzopardi adds, especially when you are young — you may end up sharing accommodation or even your lives with colleagues. Years later she is still in touch with some of them.

Sarah Godwin, co-founder of the legal recruitment firm, Law Absolute, started a business with two work friends. “The three of us who founded the company met while working together in the 90s,” she explains. “Over the years, one of the women had been my boss and then, later I’d been hers.”

Starting a company with good friends, she says, has been a real plus. “There’s a really nice cohesive culture and a lot of trust. That filters down through the business.”

While some friendships endure and even enhance your career, others are more situational and, when one of you leaves, it is quickly apparent you had only work in common.

“It’s a bit like when a normal friend moves to a different part of the country,” says John Lees, author of How to Get a Job You Love. “If it’s genuine, the friendship will endure when they go.”

Current work friendships have potential drawbacks too. “You need clarity around boundaries,” says Mr Lees. “You might, for example, need to be recused from disciplining a friend.” However, he adds you can sometimes be blunter with a friend than you can be with someone who is merely a colleague.

One of the biggest pitfalls that can happen with colleagues whose company you enjoy is the question of what happens when a close friend gets promoted ahead of you. As the essayist Gore Vidal apparently put it: “Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.”

Thalia Wheatley, associate professor of psychological and brain sciences at Dartmouth College in Hanover, New Hampshire, who has done research on work friendships, says that studies suggest your brain has a way of coping when this happens. “The way you ‘survive’ is you tell yourself that you don’t do exactly the same job as they do,” she explains. “So you might say, ‘they’re in marketing, but if you look at my role, it’s really sales.”

A defence mechanism, sure. But one that for many will have an uncomfortable smack of recognition.

Even so, studies suggest that the net overall result of work friends is positive and without them the office is a very lonely place. “When you talk to people at the end of their working lives,” says Mr Lees, “the thing they’ll often remember is not what they achieved or accomplished, but the friends they made.”